


Kiss it Better

by Squirbi



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Panic Attacks, Protective Iroh (Avatar), Protective Sokka (Avatar), Protective Toph Beifong, Self-Harm, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, but its not the focus, nonbinary toph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squirbi/pseuds/Squirbi
Summary: When team Avatar let him join the group, he almost cried. He knew that he still wasn’t fully trusted by the group, but the fact that they gave him a room in the Western Air Temple was a lot of progress. He was genuinely excited for the days to come.But Katara burst into his room to give him a talking to, leaving Zuko back in a bad place.Because she was right. He had done nothing but hurt them. He had done nothing to deserve this room, or the food they offered, or their trust.ORZuko's journey with accepting love.TW: SELF HARM, CHILD ABUSE, PANIC ATTACKS
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 678





	Kiss it Better

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags and stay safe <3

Zuko had been locked in his room all week. It had been a year now since he had been banished. He refused to let anyone see him, even Uncle, who still slid three meals a day under Zuko’s door. Zuko had only been able to choke down a few bites every day. 

He was staring down at his hands, at the small hunting knife that he held. He had nabbed it from their last stop at a port to resupply. He pulled up his robes, his mind made up. He brought the cool metal to his thigh, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and dragged it across the skin. 

He focused on the small sting, on the way that it brought him back down to earth. The sting was gone in a few minutes, it had only been a little scratch, so he went back in, this time cutting a little deeper. He was about to cut again when a knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts.

“Prince Zuko, can I come in? I brought you tea and mochi,” It was Uncle. 

“Go away!” Zuko barked. 

He could hear a sigh from behind the door. “Please, Zuko. I am worried about you.” 

He didn’t answer this time. After five minutes, Uncle slid the plate under the door. 

“I am here if you need to talk Zuko. I love you.” The footsteps grew quieter, until he could hear the door down the hall open and shut. 

Once he was sure that Uncle couldn’t hear him, he let the tears fall. He put the mochi on his dresser, but didn’t eat it. He doesn’t deserve things like mochi. He doesn’t deserve things like Uncle’s love and concern. 

He sat back down on the bed, picking up the knife. 

One for worrying Uncle. One for yelling at him. One for wasting food. One for not saying I love you back. 

He cried himself to sleep. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

It became a daily routine. He was always careful to make sure that they were in places where they wouldn’t be found by Uncle or anyone on the crew. That was, at least, until the day that the Avatar escaped him at the South Pole. 

He had run back to his room, slamming the door shut. With shaky hands, he dug the knife out of the drawer he hid it in. He slashed at his thighs, criss crossing over pre-existing scars in various states of healing, over and over again until there was no more room. He rolled up his sleeves, not even pausing to think about what he was doing before slicing through his forearm. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again… He watched, briefly mesmerized by the way the blood beaded into little crimson pearls before finally breaking and running down his arm. 

So engrossed in his own thoughts that he couldn’t hear the footsteps coming down the hall, didn’t even hear the knock on the door. The door opened, revealing a cheery looking Uncle and a tray of tea. 

“Zuko! I brou…” his voice trailed off as he took in the scene in front of him. He dropped the tray, ignoring the sharp tinkling sound as the china shattered, and quickly stepped forward to tear the knife away from his nephew. He threw the knife across the room, pulling Zuko into the tightest hug Zuko was comfortable with. 

Zuko stood still for a moment, before breaking down, hugging Uncle back and crying into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Zuko hiccuped into Iroh’s shoulder. 

Iroh’s heart shattered when he heard Zuko’s voice. He sounded as small and vulnerable as the day he got his scar. Iroh squeezed him a little tighter. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Prince Zuko. I should be apologizing for not paying better attention. I’m sorry that,” Iroh’s voice cracked, and he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” 

Zuko started crying even harder. “You were there for me Uncle! It was me who pushed you away!” 

Iroh started rubbing Zuko’s back. “Oh Zuko, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to… I didn’t want you to think I’m weak.” The last part was whispered, so quiet that Iroh almost couldn’t hear it. ” 

“There is nothing you could do to make me think you are weak. There is nothing you could do to make me love you any less.” 

Zuko sniffled. “I… love you too Uncle.” 

They held that hug for a few more minutes, until Uncle broke the silence. “Stay right here Prince Zuko. I am going to go get the first aid kit.” 

Zuko nodded, watching as Uncle walked out, taking the knife and broken china with him. 

After that night, Uncle set a few ground rules. Zuko was still allowed to keep his door shut, but he wasn’t allowed to lock it. No weapons in his room. He had to eat at least one meal with Uncle per day so that he could be sure he wasn’t skipping meals. Zuko should go to Uncle whenever he is feeling like hurting himself. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

The plan worked surprisingly well. Sure, there were a few times when Zuko slipped up and burned himself, but he did his best to go to Uncle immediately every time that happened. Uncle was never angry with him for messing up. He always made him a cup of tea and told him stories of himself in his youth while he bandaged up his wounds. Zuko felt like things were getting better. 

Then Ba Sing Se happened. He abandoned Uncle. He abandoned the one person that had always been there for him since he was a child, no matter what mistakes he made. He abandoned his uncle, who had lost his only son to war and had admitted to Zuko that he saw him as his own. 

And Zuko had abandoned him to go see his real father, throwing Uncle to rot in jail in the process.

He thought about it on the ship back to the Fire Nation and burned the word ‘selfish’ onto his leg. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

When team Avatar let him join the group, he almost cried. He knew that he still wasn’t fully trusted by the group, but the fact that they gave him a room in the Western Air Temple was a lot of progress. He was genuinely excited for the days to come. 

But Katara burst into his room to give him a talking to, leaving Zuko back in a bad place. 

Because she was right. He had done nothing but hurt them. He had done nothing to deserve this room, or the food they offered, or their trust. 

He felt himself slipping, felt his tether with reality start to fray. His breathing was uneven, and tears started falling down his face. He lifted his robes and placed a heating hand on his leg in an attempt to bring him back down to Earth when there was a knock on his door. He quickly dropped his robes just in time for Toph to barge in, walking carefully so as to not aggravate their burnt feet. 

Without a word, they sat down on the floor next to him, curling into his side and throwing one arm around his shoulder, squeezing gently. Their free hand found his, and placed it on their chest. 

“Breathe when I breathe, okay?” Toph took a deep breath, and Zuko followed along with the rise and fall of their chest. 

The two of them stayed like that for a few minutes until Zuko had calmed down. 

“Thank you Toph.” 

“No problem Sparky. I came in to tell you dinner is ready.” 

“Uh, I’m not hungry,” 

Toph stood up and started towards the door. “Okay,” they said before leaving. They came back five minutes later with a bowl of rice and water. They sat down across from him and placed the food in front of him. 

Zuko looked at the food, then at Toph. “I said I wasn’t hungry,” he said, pushing the food back towards them. Toph just pushed it right back. 

“Yeah, I can tell when you’re lying, so don’t try it with me,” they scoffed. “Now, eat.” 

“I don’t like plain rice.” 

Toph glared at him, raising their eyebrows. “What did I just say about lying?”

“Toph, please leave me alone. I’m fine.”

“Take three bites and drink half your water and then I’ll leave,” they crossed their arms. 

Zuko sighed, but ate anyway. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

Zuko was washing the dishes by the river. He liked dish duty, it gave him time to be alone and unwind, while still keeping him busy enough that he felt useful. 

“Hey Zuko, want any help?” It was Sokka. 

“Oh, um, yeah sure. I’ll dry?” 

“Okay,” Sokka sat down on the other side of the bucket of dishes and picked up a bowl. He scrubbed it out, rinsed it, and moved to hand it to Zuko, but his hand stopped in mid-air. He was staring at Zuko’s arm. 

Zuko’s gaze followed Sokka’s eyes, and he realized that his sleeves were still rolled up, putting all of his scars, recent or otherwise, on display. He quickly pulled them back down, but it was too late. Sokka moved the bucket so that there was nothing between them. 

He gently grabbed Zuko’s arm and rolled his sleeve up. Zuko put up no fight, accepting his fate. He expected Sokka to call him weak, yell at him, go and tell everybody, but instead, Sokka quietly said his name. 

“Oh, Zuko…” Sokka looked up to Zuko’s face, and Zuko was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “I should go get Katara.” 

He stood up, ready to go get his sister, when he was stopped by a hand on his wrist. “Sokka, please don’t tell anyone.” 

Sokka set his lips in a thin line, and was about to protest, but one look at Zuko’s pleading eyes got him to agree. “I won’t tell. I’ll be right back.” Sokka sprinted back to camp, coming back in under five minutes with bandages, a rag, and a bucket. He sat back down in front of Zuko, holding his hand in front of Zuko expectantly. Zuko placed the exposed arm in Sokka’s hand, and he carefully started wiping down his wounds with warm water. 

He patted down the arm with the dry half of the rag, then picked up the bandages and started wrapping his arm. Once he had tucked the end of the bandage in so that it wouldn’t fall apart, he lifted Zuko’s arm to his lips and gently kissed Zuko’s forearm without a second thought. 

Zuko’s face turned red. “Um, Sokka?” he squeaked. 

“Uh, sorry, I, um, ha,” he took a deep breath so that he could actually formulate a sentence. “My mom used to do that when we got hurt, and dad started doing it when mom died, and Katara picked it up from them, and I guess I picked it up from Katara. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable or anyth-” 

“No, it’s okay. My mom used to do that before she died too.” Zuko’s face blushed even more. “I wouldn’t mind. If you did it again, I mean.” 

Sokka’s blush turned deeper as well as he got working on the other arm. Once he was finished with that arm, he slowly lifted the arm and kissed that forearm as well. “Are there any others?” 

Zuko thought about telling him, but decided against it. That was enough for tonight. He shook his head. Sokka fiddled with his hands, then said, “Hey, um, so what’s up with that? Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Zuko started shaking, and Sokka hesitantly reached out for him. Zuko happily took the invitation, curling up in Sokka’s arms and letting him comfort him. “Can we talk about it later?” 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

Sokka woke up to the sound of crying coming from Zuko’s room. He made his way over and knocked on the door. “Hey Zuko, it’s Sokka. Can I come in?” 

He didn’t hear a response, but was worried enough to open the door anyways. Zuko was curled up in a ball on the bed, crying into his palms and hyperventilating. 

“Woah, woah, hey,” Sokka said gently, sitting down on the bed next to Zuko. He put one arm around his shoulder, and used his free hand to grab Zuko’s. He guided Zuko’s hand to his chest, holding it there. Sokka took a deep breath. “Okay, breathe with me, it’s okay.” 

Zuko followed the rise and fall of Sokka’s chest until he had calmed back down. 

“Do… you wanna talk about it?” asked Sokka quietly. 

Zuko shook his head. “It was just a nightmare. No big deal.” 

Sokka didn’t quite believe him, but shrugged his shoulders and moved to get up. 

“Can you stay here tonight?” Zuko whispered. 

Sokka sat back down on the bed, laying down and letting Zuko curl up against his side. 

“Sorry,” the firebender said. 

Sokka smoothed back Zuko’s hair, which was stuck to his forehead. “Don’t worry about it jerkbender.”

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

The change in Zuko was incredibly obvious after Boiling Rock. With Hakoda around, he was much jumpier, constantly glancing at the chief every few seconds when they were in a room together. He also stayed much closer to the others, and was especially protective of Toph and Sokka. He knew it was slightly irrational to worry about them, Sokka was a trained warrior, and Toph was a literal master earthbender at twelve years old, but still. 

Then one night around after dinner, Katara remembered her mother as they all watched the stars. She started crying, and Zuko felt himself tense up next to her. How could she cry in front of her father? How could she show such blatant weakness? 

He watched in horror as Hakoda reached for Katara, and without thinking, he pushed her aside and threw up a wall of flames. He heard a hiss of pain, and that was enough to snap him out of it. 

Hakoda was clutching at his arm, where there was a small burn. Zuko felt his head start spinning. He had fucked up he fucked up he fucked up! Now Hakoda was going to hurt him, and they would kick him out, and hurt him, and hate him and- 

“Zuko?” asked Hakoda. 

“I- sir-sorry, uh-” Zuko sprinted back to his room. 

Hakoda started walking after him, but was stopped by Sokka. He looked at his son, who had a worried look on his face. 

“You stay here and let Katara heal you. I’ll go take care of him,” he said. 

Hakoda nodded and watched his son retreat back to the rooms. 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

When Sokka opened the door and saw Zuko, he felt his heart shatter. Zuko had rolled his sleeves up and was pressing red-hot palms against his own skin. He was sobbing like Sokka had never seen before, and just looked so… helpless. 

He quickly crossed the room and gently pried Zuko’s hands off of his arms. He reached up, ignoring the nausea that flashed by when he saw Zuko flinch, and started softly smoothing back his hair, something he knew calmed him down. 

Zuko leaned against Sokka’s chest, tucking his head under Sokka’s chin as he gasped for air. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he rasped. 

Sokka ran his fingers through Zuko’s hair. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay, everything’s okay. We don’t hate you. It was an accident,” he soothed, rubbing slow circles into Zuko’s back. 

There was a soft knock on the door, and Katara walked in with the first aid basket. 

She walked towards them, but Sokka shook his head. She stopped, raising one eyebrow. He motioned for her to leave the basket by the bed, which she reluctantly did. She took one last worried glance behind her before closing the door. 

Sokka grabbed the basket and sat up a little, reaching for Zuko’s arm. Zuko gave him his arm, wincing as he started applying the burn cream. He carefully wrapped the burns, making sure to kiss each arm when he was finished.

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

The next day, Zuko avoided Hakoda like the plague, despite the chief’s efforts to talk to him. The only people he allowed himself to interact with were Sokka and Toph, even taking the day off from training Aang. He stayed almost completely silent until dinner. 

Everybody was sitting in awkward silence, trying to avoid the elephant in the room. Luckily, halfway through dinner, the elephant took care of itself. 

“It was my father,” Zuko said out of nowhere, placing his uneaten food on the floor in front of him. 

Everybody stared at him. 

“What was your father?” asked Aang. Zuko looked at Aang with a sickeningly amused look on his face. 

“Seriously Aang. Look at me. What do you think I’m talking about?” 

Aang’s face went from thinking to horrified in a manner of seconds. 

“You don’t mean…” Katara stopped, touching the left side of her face. 

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, my dad burned half of his thirteen year old son’s face off in front of thousands of citizens.” 

Toph scooted over, tucking themself into his side. 

Everybody was silent, all of their faces shiny with tears. 

“I really am sorry Chief Hakoda, sir. When I saw you reaching for Katara I… I’m sorry sir.” Zuko bowed his head, and Hakoda felt bile crawling up his throat at the thought of hurting his own children like that. 

“It’s fine son, I’ve handled worse. Please know that I would never, ever hurt my children on purpose. Any man who does is not a father, they are a monster. I’m sorry, Zuko, that you had to go through that.” 

Zuko’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Thank you Chief Hakoda, sir.” 

“Please, just Hakoda is fine.” 

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆ 

Zuko was standing in his chambers, fiddling with his robes. Today was the day. He was going to be the new Fire Lord. He winced as he pulled on the sleeves, the awkward stretching aggravating his new lightning scar. 

“Want any help?” Sokka was leaning on the doorframe. He walked in without letting Zuko respond and started tying the robe for him. He gave a quick kiss to the bandages around his chest before securing the sash. Sokka grabbed the shoulder piece. 

“Alright, this one might hurt a little, but arms up,” he said. 

Zuko slowly raised his arms, feeling the motion pull at the scar tissue on his chest. Sokka quickly put it over his head and fastened the ties, nodding when Zuko could put his arms down. He let out a sigh of relief when the muscles around his chest relaxed again. 

“Do you want help with your hair?” 

Zuko nodded. “The ribbons and brushes are over there.” He pointed to a small basket in the bathroom, sitting down on the bed. Sokka retrieved the basket and sat down behind him, gently brushing his hair. 

He remembered his mother doing the same exact thing before they had meetings with his grandfather. Nobody had ever done this for him since she left, and Zuko found that tears were welling up in his eyes. Sokka finished tying the ribbon before turning Zuko towards him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

Zuko grabbed Sokka by the shoulder, pulling him into a tight hug. Sokka could feel the tears slowly soaking through the fabric, but he ignored it in favor of comforting the boy in his arms. 

“Hey, it’s okay, I’ve got you buddy,” Sokka hushed, rubbing Zuko’s back. Zuko loosened his grip, pulling back so that he could look at Sokka. 

“I’m scared,” Zuko whispered. 

“Of what?” 

“That I’m not going to be able to do this.” 

“Zuko, you are going to do amazing. You are so kind, and caring, and thoughtful. They are going to love you. Promise.” 

They looked each other in the eyes silently for a few moments. Sokka slowly reached a hand towards Zuko’s face. He didn’t flinch. His fingers landed on Zuko’s bottom lip, which he hadn’t noticed was split before. 

“When did this happen?” Sokka asked. 

“My fight with Azula.” 

“I’m sorry.” Sokka’s hand dropped from Zuko’s face and landed on his thigh, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb. 

“It’s okay,” replied Zuko. He paused for a minute, noticing how Sokka was looking at him. He sure hoped he wasn’t reading this wrong. “Could you… kiss it better for me?” 

Sokka’s eyes crinkled a little at the corners, and a soft smile lit up his face. “Of course.” 

Sokka leaned in, and Zuko felt all of the air leave his chest. Because, Agni, Sokka looked beautiful. He never noticed before, but tiny freckles were sprayed across his nose and cheeks, and he had the longest eyelashes Zuko had ever seen. Zuko closed the remainder of the distance, capturing Sokka’s lips in a kiss. 

It was soft, and sweet, and it confirmed Zuko’s suspicion that Sokka was good at everything. When they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads against each other’s. 

Sokka opened his mouth. “Zuko, I-” 

They were interrupted by the door opening. 

“C’mon Zuko, you’re going to be…am I interrupting something?” Mai was standing at the threshold. 

“Mai!” Zuko groaned, “You already know that you’re interrupting something.” 

The corners of Mai’s lips quirked up in the closest thing to a smile Sokka had ever seen from her. “Yeah, I know. Now hurry up, you’re going to be late.” 

The two of them walked hand in hand towards the balcony, stopping in front of the doors. Zuko turned to Sokka, who wrapped him up in a quick hug. Sokka pecked Zuko on the cheek. 

“You’ve got this Sparky,” he whispered into his good ear. 

“Thank you Sokka.” He opened the doors.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest single chapter fic I have ever worked on. It went through so many versions, but I feel really good about this one. Thank you for reading!


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